Why won’t people change?

I just got off the phone with a college student who interviewed me for an assignment. He started by asking if I had any general advice.

Poor guy.

Little did he know that I give advice for a living and I went on a 10-minute diatribe about the complexities of career.

At the end of the call, he asked me a great question:

“What do you dislike most about your job?”

Easy.

I can’t take it when people won’t change. When they won’t do something different even when they know they should.

He followed up with an equally profound question:

“Why won’t people change? And what makes those who do change, change?”

When people change, it’s because they’ve bought into a brighter future than what they currently have that makes it all worth it.

When they won’t? It’s often because the future I’ve sold them or they’ve envisioned isn’t bright enough to outweigh the darkness of the fear that holds them back. The enemy of change 100% of the time is fear: fear of failure, of loss, of uncertainty, of judgment, and so on.

When the darkness is darker than the brightness is bright, the trade-off simply isn’t worth it to them.

If you’re stuck and feel fear about a move you know you should make, try dialing up the brightness on your vision of the future.
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People with bright visions don’t need any pushing — their future pulls them along.